realizing i've been afraid

you must keep showing me your face, Holy God. 


so the tide laps in like a smooth luxury

and i taste it 

and i feel it

all wrapped around my senses.

the presence of the moving waters -

the piece of eternity before my eyes. on my toes. 

my actual body and toes. 

it’s kinda terrible to feel the mortal lose weight.

because the known

and the world that i love

becomes a flake before my eyes.

it shrinks

next to the galaxies and the swirling massive mystery of

where my precious cousin lies

or dances i suppose.

but it’s the most comforting place i’ve been in a while. 

to come to terms with our vapor lives.

everything is transparent, but far more in it’s

proper place

and far more beautifully named here too. 

the spiritual grows more vivid- 

has more a voice- 

a blinking eyelash against the world. 

and my most blinding illusion leaves me. 

i am out of control…

and i feel it.

so the loving God grows stronger. 

Because i need Him to be. 

and He’s always said that He was. 


He says He stands above it all.

even storms have to bow to Him. 

and if He is above it, and I belong to Him, i am safe. 

His faithfulness through the ages covers me now. and if His hand doesn’t leave me,

if He allows,

then it is Him that is allowing.

Is this enough yet? 

my hand is on you. my lovingkindness never leaves you. 


i like being in a new place of knowing i haven’t turned a blind eye to ultimate reality

just because it terrifies me. 

makes for an undercurrent of peace

and solemn understanding

in approaching the rest of this.


Him who is and who was and who is to come-

a banner across my sky. 

i love it and 

adore Him

and believe.